It's amazing how everything exponentially grows once you add a baby to the house. Our laundry seems endless. The messes the kids make and leave behind as evidence of their reality are everywhere. The dishes are stacking up (thank goodness for paper plates!). And, the trash is growing (it doesn't help that it's Easter -- a candy free for all at our house). My time is at a premium. And, everything I need to do becomes a process that backs it's way through task after task that must be done before I can ever finish the one I started out to do. If I thought the noise level at our house was insane before we added Shalyn, it's crazy loud now!
It's chaos at it's best at our house. Perhaps the worst part of the chaos is it's ability to allow for danger to have its chance in our home. Lena came and tapped on my arm while I was sitting at the kitchen table talking to my mom. I glanced at Lena and then focused back on my mom. Then, my mind caught up with my sight and I turned back to Lena screaming, "Noooo!!!!" She had wrapped a scarf tightly around her neck and her face was quickly turning red. Luckily, I was able to get it off her before any damage could occur. We spent a couple of minutes hugging and crying together. Hopefully I'm more alert now as a result. Another heart stopping moment lately has been when I catch Alyssa trying to stick various items into electric outlets. So far, she's misjudged the size of her tool or I've caught her before the dastardly deed is done. I hope our protective angels keep working in our behalf keeping our children safe despite their efforts to the contrary!!!
Nursing and generally enjoying my little one gives me the chance to sit back and observe the chaos in my home. Opportunities open themselves for me to treasure the little moments. These are some of the things I've observed lately:
-Lena and Alyssa played the "animal game" one day. They kept coming out as baby animals. Their baby lion roar was high pitched and ever so cute!
-Lena (age 4) scratched her toe. "Mommy! I is blooding!" she cried. After reassuring her she would live, my heart tucked that moment into my memory base for later.
-Alyssa laid her blanket out on the floor and James promptly laid down on it. She cried out, "Get off of my sleep over!"
-Ladd was changing Shalyn's blowout diaper and Lena said, "It looks like she threw up in her diaper!"
-Alyssa, when she gets hurt, asks for a bandage. I keep asking myself where she heard that word. I suppose she's inventive since she's afraid of bandaids! Cecilia asked Alyssa awhile ago which princess was her favorite and she said, "The pink one!" The other trend Alyssa has going is telling me she's starving! Not hungry. Starving.
-My favorite has been watching all of my children hold Shalyn. Lena and Alyssa take care to ask before holding her for which I'm VERY grateful for! One day, I came back into the living room to find that Shalyn was rearranged in her chair. I knew Lena was responsible, so I talked to her about leaving Shalyn for older people to carry. Shalyn seemed okay thankfully, although she was VERY alert and quite wide awake!!! It was perhaps a good thing I didn't witness Lena carrying her!
-Garrett missed coming to the hospital to see Shalyn and I after Shalyn was born because of solo and ensemble. With Shalyn's jaundice, no one could hold her except for the few that helped me when it was time to feed her. On Shalyn's first Sunday, I caught Garrett (age 16), sitting cross legged on the floor next to her "bed" in his suit carefully holding her. When I told him she needed to be under lights, he said, "But mom, I haven't been able to hold her and I really want to hold her." So, I told him he could change her diaper and get her dressed for church and his eyes lit up and he agreed wholeheartedly.
-Late one school night, I caught Cali holding Shalyn. Me: "Cali, aren't you supposed to be doing your homework?" Cali: "Nope. I'm supposed to be holding Shalyn."
-Cecilia held Shalyn on an unfortunate moment and after she was done, Shalyn had spit up on Cecilia's shirt three times. Since then, Cecilia has claimed that Shalyn doesn't like her at all. But I've caught her picking Shalyn up when she doesn't know I'm looking. And, she's quick to rescue Shalyn when she feels her younger siblings aren't being as careful as they should.
-Jarom begs to hold Shalyn. He will sit still and hold Shalyn so carefully for quite awhile. It seems uncharacteristic of him, but I've watched him do it! If he's standing while holding Shalyn, he does tend to move a little too much. :)
-James gladly agrees to hold Shalyn when I need to run a couple of errands around the house. He will hold her for quite awhile despite it taking him away from his "playing."
-Mckenzie and Ruby both spend time gently holding Shalyn. They remind me of future mothers.
-Garrett jumps at the chance to hold Shalyn. One day after school, he was quite tired, but he picked up Shalyn anyway. He carefully placed her on his shoulder so he could burp her and then sat down in the couch in our piano room. I walked in a little bit later to find both of them asleep. I couldn't resist taking a picture or two. I also love it when Garrett holds Shalyn out in front of him and talks to her. It leaves an impression on my heart. Maybe it's because he takes such care to present a tough man image for the rest of us and when he holds Shalyn, he is so tender. It's as if his love for her is a physical, tangible thing for all to see.
-Shalyn has found several poses which capture our hearts while she sleeps. In the hospital, while I was nursing her one night, she laced her fingers together perfectly as if she were praying. During church one Sunday, she flopped her arm over her eyes as if to block out the lights to aid her sleeping. She's even propped one fist up to her jawline as if she were pondering the universe a couple of times.
-Shortly after Shalyn was born, when she didn't like something, she'd squawk, then go silent as if she was positive we'd take it under advisement and change what she didn't like. Such trust and patience!!
-Shalyn is providing quite the distraction during Sacrament Meeting. And, Shalyn does it all while she's sleeping! It comes in the form of my children all asking in a loud whisper, "When can I hold Shalyn? Is it my turn yet? Can I hold Shalyn now?!" They are all "jumping on the trampoline" as my parents would say!
-Shalyn is ever so strong. She has pushed away from me with her hands intentionally -- and it does seem she's concentrating very hard on that task to make sure it happens!
-My sleep is at a premium these days. Sometimes, while I'm feeding Shalyn, I'll lay my head back to close my eyes and then notice that Shalyn is studying me with her intelligent eyes. I wonder what she's thinking. I bet I could learn from her!
-Ladd has been ever vigilant and helpful during the last month particularly. He's helped me with dinner and dishes and with Shalyn and with the chauffeuring. He's facilitated entertainment for the kids and allowed me to have a needed shower or shut-eye. The other night, before the Relief Society Presidency came to visit me, I had the kids all helping me pull the house back into an acceptable shape. He got home after it was mostly over, and said, "You know, Sharla, you have this all wrong. You're supposed to leave the house dirty so they can see you need some help!" I laughed really hard for the first time that day!!!! Then, I laughed even harder at the baffled look on his face!!!
-Perhaps what gets my blood pumping most lately is hearing Shalyn struggle for breath when she's spitting up. She's wormed her way into my heart in this short period of time, and I can't bear the thought of parting with her.
Can you tell that we love our new little girl, Shalyn Susanna?! She's what makes all the chaos and laundry and dishes and trash and technical difficulties worth it!
