I think I'm currently chasing time. . . .

Wow!  I haven't written about most of November and there was some great living going on during it!  I'll try to just hit the highlights.

Monday, Nov. 12th -- I took Garrett to a specialist to have his "tonsil stones" checked.  The result of that visit was scheduling his operation for December 20th!  He's going to have his tonsils taken out!

Tuesday, Nov. 13th -- I had my ultrasound and found that we're going to add a new little GIRL to our family!  She's healthy.  That's the biggest and most important news!  Most of my kids were very bummed out when I told them the news.  Mckenzie pouted.  James' face fell in disappointment.  Jarom looked okay with it, but told me later that his hopes had been crushed.  The older kids just shrugged.  Cecilia had originally been hoping for a boy, but had recently been telling me she thought it was a girl.  Her response was, "I called it!"  Mckenzie finally said, "I blame dad!"  I don't know if she was aware of how true that is!  :)  The other kids quickly took up the same cry for a few minutes and chanted it till I tired of hearing it.

That same day, I took Jarom to a city council meeting to fulfill one part of a scout merit badge he's working on currently.  There was an item on the agenda that had stirred the ire of the community so finding a seat was a bit difficult.  It was very educational for me, and has shaped me in some small way.  I'm glad I went with him.

Wednesday, Nov. 14th -- I took Alyssa to see a specialist about her plantar wart on the arch of her foot.  He put some chemical on her wart which turned into some major blisters the next day.  They've been affecting Alyssa's life this whole month.

Thursday, Nov. 15th -- It was Cecilia's dance concert -- which Cali danced at too.  Jarom and Garrett went to the YM/YW Etiquette dinner during it.  Luckily, mom and dad Hinton came to help me with the management of the kids and the taping of their dance pieces.  Cecilia and Cali did a great job!!!

Friday, Nov. 16th -- Mom and Dad Hinton showed up for a few moments before they headed down the state bearing my early birthday present -- a microwave!!!!  I've been soooo grateful for that gift!  Earlier on in the week, my kids said the microwave wasn't working.  I checked and they were right.  Ugh!  I got up early one day after that to hurry and make some cookie dough for cookies for their lunches.  I couldn't soften the butter!  It became a huge project involving my bosch and lots of effort on my part.  Later, for lunch, Lena and Alyssa asked for mac n cheese, so I pulled out some leftover mac n cheese and realized belatedly that I had no microwave to heat it up with.  Alyssa willingly ate a few bites, but Lena was determined to heat hers up.  She tried both of our broken microwaves.  Luckily, I was in the kitchen during all of this, so when I heard the gas on the stove being lit up, I wheeled around and grabbed the bowl Lena had set on one of the burners and then turned off the full flame she had going under that bowl.  I was fast enough that the bowl hadn't started to melt yet.  A disaster had been averted, thankfully!  I don't think Lena ate much for lunch. . . .  I'm VERY grateful for a working microwave!!!!

Friday and Saturday, Nov. 16-17th -- Cali participated in the U of U marching band for a special performance they had going on.  She practiced with them, attended a basketball game, and then marched in a performance during one of their football games.  She was gone quite a bit, and required us to drive her up there and back or meet up with rides.  To me, her experiences weren't worth the effort!  Oh well!

The week of Nov. 19th - 24th -- was a Thanksgiving week.  We spent lots of time cleaning and getting ready for company.  Wednesday night, we had mom and dad Hinton come.  Thursday was a glorious day of cooking, talking, and eating.  It was great to be around some of my family.  I sure missed those who weren't here, though.  Friday morning was birding for some of the kids and shopping for Cecilia who was treated to her shopping spree via her aunt Melanie and her grandparent's car.  Saturday was a second Thanksgiving dinner at Mapleton with Ladd's folks and family.  My parents left some beloved (to me) pomegranates behind.  I was eating them and kept offering them to my children.  Not too many seemed bothered.  Jarom tastes them and then said, "That's the fruit version of corn."  I don't know how he came to that conclusion, but it made me chuckle!

On Wednesday, Nov. 21st, I started the investigation into the health of my heart by going to see a Dr. Allen.  He had me get some blood work done.  I was a bit nervous when the girl about to draw my blood poked my arm repeatedly in the same place and said, "Is this a blood vessel or a tendon?"  Then, they put a "halter" on me.  I had to wear the heart monitor for the rest of Wednesday while I was finishing up the cleaning and cooking, and for the first half of Thursday -- Thanksgiving Day!  I don't think I'll forget that too quickly!  Thankfully, when Thanksgiving dinner rolled around, I was halter-free!  Then, on Monday, Nov. 26th I went in for an Echocardiogram -- an ultrasound of my heart.  On Wednesday, Nov. 28th, I went in to hear the results of all the tests.  They said I keep having a "premature" beat, but it's "rare".  Even though I feel it lots, I guess it's still rare.  They said my heart structure is perfect and all is well.  They said that because of the increased blood flow due to my pregnancy, I'm just more aware of what my heart is doing.  I'm grateful to find all is well!  On the paper they gave me as I left, it said my language was "not documented."  I don't know how I can communicate in English and have them say that!!!!

On Monday, Nov. 26th - We got the Christmas tree out, checked the lights, and pulled the decorations out.  I walked the kids through the meaning of all the decorations, then we left for Temple Square to see the Christmas lights.  What a marvelous way to start out the Christmas season -- to remind us that our Savior is our light!!!!

Tuesday, Nov. 27th -- Ladd and I were able to attend the temple together during the day, thanks to Kelsy watching Lena and Alyssa for us!  Before we left, Alyssa threw up due to having a hair in her mouth -- something she's done a few times before.  When I picked them up after going to the temple, Lena was in the process of being changed because she'd gotten leaves in her mouth and threw up.  Two in one day!!!  Kelsy was glad she'd thrown up outside.  I would've been, too!!!  When we got back, I helped Cali make divinity and Cecilia make key lime dessert.  Then, I dropped Garrett and Jarom off to their respective Young Men activities and left James babysitting the four young girls while I went with Cali and Cecilia to their Young Women's in Excellence.  It was a marvelous night.

Wednesday, Nov. 28th -- I went from my follow-up on my heart, to parent teacher conferences with Garrett and Cali's teachers, to the recital for Joy Peterson's violin students.  Joy had brought four new pieces for me to play earlier on in that day.  AAAAGGHH!!!  It turned out okay.  I only had two regrets.  One was a cute little girl who got lost during her piece and I didn't know where she was and we spent a minute with her playing a note, and me guessing as to what to play next.  We finally started over, and all was well.  But that whole process embarrassed her incredibly.  I felt really bad about that.  The last piece I was supposed to play was a really hard one that I'd been given that same day.  I ended hitting about every 10th note.  I felt embarrassed after it was done, but the boy hadn't worried about it at all.  He'd done great, and he knew it.

Thursday, Nov. 29th -- I had visiting teachers that came in the morning enabling me to buckle down and get some cleaning done.  Cali started her three intense days of honor band practice.  On Thursday and Friday, she practiced from 3 p.m. to 9:30 p.m.  and on Saturday, she practiced from 9 to 12 a.m.!  Her concert was on Saturday at 1:30 p.m. and the honor band did a marvelous job!  Cali was 13th chair out of about 20 clarinets, but she's only a 9th grader!  Good job, Cali!!!!

On Friday, Nov. 30th -- I had to take Cecilia some medicine because she was feeling bad -- and it was a good thing I did because I'd totally forgotten about Cecilia's CCR's that afternoon.  As luck would have it, Ladd had meetings earlier on in the day and so I had to take Lena and Alyssa with me to sit through a boring presentation from the counselors and wait until we could talk to one of them.  Would you know, while I took Alyssa to the bathroom to wash her up (I was bribing them with Starbursts -- a poor and temporary substitute for lunch), Cecilia didn't watch Lena well enough, so when I came back we couldn't find her.  A lady brought her back to the library where we were, and we were once again reunited.  I guess Lena had tried to run after me, and couldn't find me.  I'm glad she's safe!!!! 

Later, Cecilia went to her friend's birthday party.  They saw "Wreck It, Ralph."  Cali was at Honor's Band.  The rest of us cleaned the house and finished putting up the Christmas decorations!!!  After I picked Cali up, I went shopping for groceries -- despite the late hour!!!

Saturday, Dec. 1st -- Everyone but Cali went to the Christmas party at BYU.  We bowled, ate doughnuts, and played some games.  Garrett and Cecilia made their way to the bookstore where they both found books to read.  We barely made it back for Cali's concert.  Only Ladd, Garrett and I went to the concert.  It was a great concert!!  I spent most of the rest of the day Christmas shopping.  Ladd and I snuck away after dinner for a short date over ice cream at Artic Circle.  Then, once the kids were all bathed and sent to bed, Ladd and I started watching a movie (The Man who Knew Too Little) while I sorted an incredibly high pile of clothes.  Halfway through we were interrupted with Lena throwing up everywhere.  Bless Ladd for all his hard work.  I took one stray whiff and nearly threw up, too.  Ladd cleaned the mess and Lena up and did it all so compassionately!  He is amazing!  Lena threw up during the night a couple of times as well.  When we got up, Alyssa said her tummy hurt and she didn't want to eat either.  So, I stayed at home with the girls.  Ladd has now taught his Primary lesson four weeks in a row without his companion teacher being there.

I've been feeling very overwhelmed lately.  Just getting the kids to where they need to be, making sure they are reading, and keeping up on their homework seems to be a monumental task.  (James, who already struggles with school, is now working on a "book" which will have six 5 paragraph essays in it as well as the glossary and index.  AND, he's already starting his science fair project!!!!!!)   Then there's the laundry and dishes and the house that won't stay clean.  Add to that the responsibility to be teaching Garrett and Cali how to drive.  Don't forget all the goals and deadlines they bring for me and all of the kids plus the living of the gospel and putting first things first like going to the temple.  Then, I only have 24 days to do all the shopping for Christmas.  Ladd wants me to take each child out individually to have them pick what they want for their sibling they're giving gifts to this year.  And, I need to make sure we fit in all of our Christmas traditions the kids look forward to every December.  On top of all that, I'm pregnant, and despite being the only parent available for the kids for most of the 24/7 allotted to us, I usually don't feel up to doing any of it.  There's no break.  It just keeps going and going and going.  I'm trying to keep up, but it's daunting.  My calendar is at it's extreme and each week seems to get worse.  Mckenzie said this morning, "Mom.  I think it's going to be really hard for you to have 10 children."  My response: "I'll tell you a secret.  It's already really hard with nine."  I see mothers with small babies everywhere I go and I keep being reminded that I'll be adding a baby to this world of mine in four short months.  If it's hard doing this being pregnant, how much harder will it be with a baby?!!!  I guess I need to just keep going, doing my best, and rolling with whatever comes my way.  "Just keep going, just keep going, just keep going. . . ."  A lady in my ward recently told me that I remind her of the lady she watches on a TV show that has 19 children.  This mom just handles it all with such grace and patience is what she told me.  She said she watches me and says to her husband, "Look, she just does it all so well.  If she can do it, I can do it."  I was mentally thanking providence who placed her on the street down from ours so she doesn't hear me yell at my kids or so she doesn't drop in to see my house in sheer chaotic terror.  When I walked in her door, I found her house spotless, organized, her children well groomed and clean, and she was helping them make snowflakes.  And she graciously helped me even though I'd stopped in unannounced.  We then talked briefly about letting go of unnecessary expectations.  Her examples were dusting and mopping the kitchen floor once a week.  My unmentioned ones were going from having a clean house all the time to having it clean once a day to having it half clean once a week if I'm lucky.  I feel embarrassed at the dicotomy of our two lives without her even knowing the difference.  "If only's" don't work very well -- there's nothing I can do about them.  And, saying we're going through different "seasons" seems like rationalizing away the truth of my life.  I guess I can hope I won't be judged too harshly for what I'm able to get done, and just keep going, keep trying, keep striving.