Still Waiting. . . .

This is a poem that I penned a couple of years ago.  I'm finding it applicable to my daily trodding -- still. . . .

Patient Endurance

 

My life fills up with waiting.

I wait for my alarm to go off when I can’t sleep.

I wait for Ladd to go to work.

I wait for my children to wake up fully.

I wait for them to get dressed.

I wait for them to come to devotional.

I wait for them to eat and stop bickering.

I wait for them to obey me.

I wait for them to leave for school.

I wait for lunch so Alyssa will go to sleep.

I wait with baited breath to see if miraculously, Lena will fall asleep, too.

I wait for the children to rush through the doors and flood the house with noise.

I wait for them to finish their homework and piano.

I wait for the perfect moment (which never comes) to clean the house.

I wait for the kids to help me clean the house.

I wait for departure times for a myriad of activities and appointments.

I wait for my children to come back.

I wait for scripture study and bedtime. 

I wait for my children to fall asleep.

While I wait, I fill in my minutes with my personal  to-do list.

I squeeze them in as if squishing Play Doe into a hole.

That’s just one day.

 

While I wait for the moments to pass, I find also:

I wait to see how cute my children will be the next time they say or do something.

I wait for my computer to work right.

I wait for responses over e-mail or Facebook.

I wait for my memory to work through it’s hiccups.

I wait for me to stop being tired.

I wait for me to finally loose weight.

I wait for my health to be fine.

I wait for more time to accomplish my goals.

I wait for my family to be complete.

I wait for the next pay check so I can buy ___________.

I wait to see if we will have enough money for our bills and our needs.

I wait to be out of debt (is it possible?).

I wait for Ladd’s next calling and mine as well.

I wait to see what our next trial will be.

I wait for my children to grow up.

I wait for my children to breeze through their milestones.

I wait to see what my children will be like when they grow up.

 

And when I’m not waiting, I’m wondering.

What will it be like to have Garrett driving?

What will it be like to have four children in High School at the same time?

What will it be like to have my children all in school?

What will it be like to have “free” time?

What will it be like to have a house filled with silence?

What will it be like to have children on missions?

What will it be like to write letters every week?

What will it be like to be a far away mom to college students?

What will it be like to have a huge phone bill on purpose?

What will it be like to be a mom to my married children?

What will it be like to wait to see what their life choices will be?

What will it be like to have my house stay clean?

What will it be like to be a grandma?

What will it be like to chase grandchildren when my body is old and my mind is tired?

What will our family be like when they are all married?

What will it be like when Ladd retires?

What will it be like to go on a mission with Ladd?

What will it be like to grow old with Ladd?

What will it be like to pass through death’s door?

What will it be like to miss my family?

What will it be like to miss waiting with my blinders on?

 

While I wonder and wait, will I make it through honorably?

Will I wait out my life in frivolous pursuits or righteous choices?

Will I respond to my moments with love and faith?

Will I treasure each moment and savor them?

Will I color each choice with eternal perspective?

Will I keep going despite that singular challenge?

Will I find joy no matter what my moment is filled with?

Will I hear, finally, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant?”

I’m still waiting. . . .